Damn you, sly boy!
by IamNOTalien
Summary: "Yeah, sometimes he can be rude a little … but it is not often! I can assure you, he is not so bad and hopeless!"


**Warning:** OOC.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

I know it's strange story. But I wanted to post it, so ... :)

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><p><em>Huh. Just try my food, losers.<em> She saw people reached their hands for her food with no fear (excepting the people, which knew who was the cook, they clustered at the other tables).

Orihime looked at the food, which were placed at rivals' tables. _I know, your stomachs will not thank you later, because I have not ever seen such boring meals like these in such quantity before. Who the hell in the world could prefer simple chicken to incredibly delicious chicken with chocolate and wasabi? I am willing to concede that there are could be some fools, which have not achieved any success in their miserable lives and cannot appreciate the perfection of chicken-chocolate-wasabi blending at its true value. I hope there are not many of failures like those here._

A little boy approached the tables with her meals. _Huh. Nobody could escape it. Men, women, little children – all of them will try it._

She saw people started to taste her meals. _Yeeeah. Try it. Taste it. Chew it in your mouths and run it through your throats. Let the awfully excellent food reach your stomachs. And then, express opinions. He-he-he._

People smiled. But those people were not the people at her table, but at competitors'. They were smiling and kept on eating. _I was wrong, as I expected. You cannot please everybody. There are only losers anyway. Where is my beautiful Matsumoto-chan? Only she can understand me._

Orihime shifted her gaze to the people which have tried her food. Okay, maybe she would better not to do it, because the moment she saw their faces was the moment when her heart started to fill with disillusionment.

She wanted to get out of this mad activity, which was named "School Festival". _I don't understand why I liked that stuff before. Crowds. Noise. Closeness. There is no way I would prefer it to my cosy room._ She almost started to wind up her activity, when she heard familiar voice: "Orihime-chan! My dear, my son's comely friend, it's pleasure to meet you! Your presence makes my soul filled with warmth, because my son is not such a hopeless fool if he has a friend like you, my darling!"

"Kurosaki-san, good morning! Would you like to try my food? You know, every man at this school yard wanted to try it! But I did not allow it them in the hope of your appearance". _I'm so artful…he-he-he. _Isshin looked at the young beauty, which dropped her eyes in confusion.

"Oh, Orihime-chan, really? You did it for me, didn't you? You wanted to entertain me and that is why you had to defend your table for these men?" He grasped her by the hand. "You are so kind and sweet, my dear. I cannot wait for try this…" he looked at the table"… banana-caviar sandwich."

"Good choice, Kurosaki-san!" _Maybe he is better than his stupid son. No, really, how dare he to treat me like that? How dare he not to notice my feelings to him all this time, they are so strong! I am sure, everybody has already observed it. I think like I really could tell him now how I feel. But… this prolonged hours…days…months…years of my ceaseless love are wearied me. Yes, I racked by these feelings and now I do not know what I want to do. Tell him how I feel? Or keep silent and live my life in melancholy that all people could say "She is so young and so sorrowful … so beautiful and so lonely … If only we could do anything for her … But no, there is nothing that could help." This possibility is very magnetic, isn't it? _

"I can assure you, my dear, that you are the person of considerable talent!"

_Really? No, really?_

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><p>Ichigo was looking for his biggest problem – daddy. <em>He was here a few moments ago … and once I shifted my gaze and he has disappeared. <em>"Hey, Karin, didn't you see where _it_ went?"

"I think _it _wanted to … _speak_ with you pretty sensei." _Oh no. Please. _

"Stop calls our dad _it!_" Yuzu broke into a conversation. "He is not so bad! You know, he can be adult man!"

"Really? Okay, when was the last time when he conducted himself like a man his age?" Karin's eyebrow was raised.

"Well … hm …"

"Well?"

"…"

"Daaaaaaad." The roar was heard from clenched Ichigo's teeth. Yuzu and Karin looked the way his brother was looking and understood his crazy. Their dad was holding beautiful Inoue by her hand and talking her something that she staring at the floor confused. "No … fucking … way."

They started to move towards them. _No. Why does this man always make me crazy? _

"Hey, daddy" Yuzu smiled at him happily.

"Oh, my dear children came to the best daddy in the world because they were missing him badly? It is so touchingly! My darling Orihime-chan, I have brought up my issue with purpose still."

"Did _it_ say something? _It_ didn't, did _it_?"

"No matter." Ichigo looked at Inoue. "Hey, Inoue. Did this man bother you?"

_Here he is. Crikey.__ I always called him Kurosaki-kun. But he always called me Inoue. I cannot remain it any longer; here it is - the time for strike back. _"How do you do, Kurosaki." _I've done you, boy. _"No, Kurosaki-san was not bothering me at all! I like your dad!"

"Orihime-chan …" She could discern tears in his eyes. "I … just … I can't believe that the slovenly boy like my stupid son could make the friend like you! You know, the truth is that sometimes I can't believe that this kid is really mine. Why would the great and amicable man like me bring the boy with such a scowl into the world?"

_Again. _Ichigo felt his face was twitching.

"I am a bad father. I really am. If only I could spend more time with my child. But now it is late and I cannot do anything but to blame myself."

"Kurosaki-san, what are you talking about?" _Yes, Inoue has to speak in my support, I know it. _"It is not you fault at all!" _Whaaaaaat?_ "Yeah, sometimes he could be rude a little … but it is not often! I can assure you, he is not so bad and hopeless!"

"My darling, you have returned the hope in my heart!"

_What the hell is going on here? __She thinks I am rude? But … but … Something is wrong and I can't get it. She called me "Kurosaki". She always called me "Kurosaki-kun", but now it was only "Kurosaki". She thinks I am "not so bad". What does it suppose to mean? Did I offend her? But when? How?_

"You must try some banana-caviar sandwich, my stupid son; Orihime-chan is perfect cook!"

"I could also add cheese to it, would you like?" _Banana-caviar-cheese sandwich? _He looked in her beaming with hope eyes. _Okay … All I want from this life is to try banana-caviar sandwich with cheese, don't I?_

"I would like to, Inoue, thanks." _I can do it. Just open your mouth and swallow it, milksop. Be a man!_

She saw he took her meal with confidence and ate it with no hesitate. _Hmmm … He is not such a loser after all._

"Yummy!" _Huh. I had defeated Aizen. I don't afraid of strange meals, Inoue, sorry. _

_He liked it. Okay, maybe "young-sorrowful-beautiful-lonely" life is not so magnetic. Maybe, MAYBE, I'll tell him__ about my strong feelings. Maybe there is light that could appear in my life without beloved. Who knows …_

"Okay, children, Orihime-chan, have a fun! Could you please forgive me, I have to go and find my son's pretty sensei to talk to her!"

"No. We could not." _It is not enough just to bother Inoue; you wanna pester my teacher too, man? _

"You don't have anything to worry about, sonny. Young women are delighted with me! You will see how your grades are going to improve after my visit!"

"Don't go to her, dad … please."

"But why? Did you miss me? Do you want to spend time with your beautiful daddy at this rare day off?"

"Well …"

"No words anymore! My son is really my son! You are not cold-hearted, you are just shy boy and you want to have fun with your daddy! I'm so happy! I thought it is late to do anything, but I just could not guess that my Ichigo just …" His flow of words was shut by his Ichigo's fist.

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><p>"You don't need to go with me, Ichigo. And you don't have to pull my beautiful daughters and Orihime-chan with us."<p>

"No, I need to."

"Don't worry, daddy, I want to support you!" said Yuzu with a kind smile on her face.

"Man, if I don't want to go, I wouldn't." Karin was as nice as always.

They were walking through crowds, finding the sensei. Ichigo saw her standing left to them at a window. He looked at his dad carefully, but he was staring at the other way (as his sisters). Only Inoue saw the teacher too. _It's okay. She will not say them; she knows I don't want her to …_

"Oh, I see her! She is there, at the window." All of them looked at the direction Orihime has shown them. _Heh. I wanna watch what will be happen next. Sorry, Kurosaki._

_INOUE! __Why did she say it? She had to know that I would prefer NOT to find our teacher. I think I did really offend her, but how?_

"My, my, who is here? Is she the best sensei in the world, isn't she?" _Oh no. It's beginning. _Isshin take her hand and gave a slight kiss to it. "How could I show my appreciation of all you have done to my stupid son?"

"You must be Kurosaki-san … You know, I couldn't guess that the boy with such a sullen temper has a nice father like you!" _And she has to say the same, of course. What was I waiting for?_

"Please, tell me my perfect sensei, how is my ungrateful offspring's behavior? Did he attend school diligently? Did he do his homework? What about active life outside lectures? Did he play football or something? Please, tell me the truth!"

"Yeah, tell us please! We are interested too!" sisters joined in with the conversation. "Narrate please about all his awful secrets he was trying to hide! Bad grades? Truancies? Suspicious-looking pals? We want to know everything!"

"Ichigo-kun, you have so empathizing relatives! You have to be very happy, youth. Don't worry about him! His grades quite good and his pals too. What about truancies … what I can say. Youth! Yeah, there were some absence, but I can understand it … All of them was with proper Orihime-chan anyway so I could be unworried."

_All of them? You are exaggerating, woman. It was only few times. _

"Sorry, but I have to go now. It was pleasure to meet you, Kurosaki-san."

"Oh, are you leaving me, aren't you my dear sensei? I will miss you …" He gave another kiss to her hand.

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><p>"It was long day."<p>

Ichigo was walking Inoue home after this crazy "School Festival". His dad was noisy as ever, but anyway this day was … pleasant? After all, he could confess to himself that he enjoyed spending time with his family and … _yeah, okay, and with Inoue._

"Yes, it really was."

_We are alone now after this nice day. His mood is calm and it is perfect moment to tell him. What should I do? Tell? Do not tell? Don't know. _

They came up to her place. _What is wrong with Inoue? She looks agitated._

"Iwanttotellyousomething" _Am I mumbling? Take heart and say it, spineless creature. _"I mean I want to tell you something, Kurosaki." _It is good beginning. I think it was quite confidently, wasn't it?_

"Okay, Inoue. But I'm sure you don't have to be nervous regardless of what you want to say." _I think I can guess what you want to tell woman. The way you looked at me … But don't think I will help you after the sandwich and sensei, he-he-he. "He is not so bad?" Yeah, I'm really not, but sorry. Sorry. Huh._

"I just … you know, we have known each other for a while and … I …" She lifted up her eyes to his face "I …" _Wait. His eyes. Their impression. Is he AMUSING? Is he laughing? Have he understood? Damn you, sly boy! There is no way I will tell you! _"Could you call me Orihime please?" said Inoue's sweet voice.

_You are the beautiful girl of strong character, yes? I like it. _

"If only you will call me Ichigo."

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><p>I would like to know what you think about it. :)<p> 


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